Joke............

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialled the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded:

"You fool; you've dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put the phone down.....

Give me a Break(NIce Captions...)

3 Easy Ways to Die :

Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.

1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells

her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY

3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

1. Tele-Phone

2. Tele-Vision

3. Tell to Woman

Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..

4.. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.

6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.

They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.

Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..

Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.

7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.

Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.

Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.

10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.

give me a break (Husband and wife dairy ..a comparision..)

HER DIARY

Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet
at a cafe to have some coffee. I was
shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at
the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go
somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but

he kept quiet and absent. I Asked him what was wrong - he said,
"Nothing" . I asked him if it was my fault
that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to
worry. On the way home I told him that I
loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his
behavior; I don't know why he didn't say,
"I love u, too" .When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if
he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV. He seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10
minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it
anymore, so I decided to confront him with the
situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I
too fell asleep. I don't know what to
do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life
is a disaster.



HIS DIARY ::
Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh. DAMN IT.


NOW that's called
Simplicity of Men Vs Complexity of Women !!!

Gud Afternoon....

"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is!".

Gud Evenin (I want to convey a message through a pic)

give me a break(Modern Panchtantra Story)

Once upon a time

, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood

( the woodcutter and the axe )

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "

Is this your computer ?

" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said "

No, not at all !!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a genius than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Earth Day

EARTH DAY is the first holy day which transcends all national borders, yet preserves all geographical integrities, spans mountains and oceans and time belts, and yet brings people all over the world into one resonating accord, is devoted to the preservation of the harmony in nature and yet draws upon the triumphs of technology, the measurement of time, and instantaneous communication through space.
EARTH DAY draws on astronomical phenomena in a new way – which is also the most ancient way – using the vernal Equinox, the time when the Sun crosses the equator making night and day of equal length in all parts of the Earth. To this point in the annual calendar, EARTH DAY attaches no local or divisive set of symbols, no statement of the truth or superiority of one way of life over another. But the selection of the March Equinox makes planetary observance of a shared event possible, and a flag which shows the Earth as seen from space appropriate

Some Quotes on Earth i liked....

I'm not an environmentalist. I'm an Earth warrior

For 200 years we've been conquering Nature. Now we're beating it to death

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more.

give me a break(General Knowledge)

During work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:


Raman: Narain, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.


Narayan: oh! Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?


Narayan: No


Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.


The next day, the same discussion took place:


Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?


Narayan: No


Raman: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.


The next day, once again:


Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?


Narayan: No


Raman: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.


This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?


Raman: No


Narayan: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.

Give me a break(Cute Little Stry)

Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...

Happy Birthday & Marriage Day Ram....

Wish u A Very Happy Birthday and Marriage day Lord Ram.....enjoy the day with lots of fun ...(hahahah just kiddin guys)

శ్రీరామ నవమి శుభాకంక్షలు(Happy Srirama Navami)

Ram Navami is a Hindu holiday. It falls on the ninth day of the Hindu lunar year (or Chaitra Masa Suklapaksha Navami), and is a celebration of the birthday of the Hindu god Rama.

Some highlights of this day are-
Kalyanam (Ceremonial wedding performed by temple priests) at Bhadrachalam on the banks of the river Godavari in Khammam district.
Panakam, a sweet drink prepared on this day with jaggery and pepper.
Procession of idols in the evening that is accompanied with play of water and colours.

give me a break (Love VS Arranged Marriage)

Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.

Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.

Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.

Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.

Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.

Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.

Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.

Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.

Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.

Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.

Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.

Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!

ఉగాది శుభాకంక్షలు

ఉగాది శుభాకంక్షలు(Uగాthe subhaకంక్షలు)

This mixture with all six tastes (షడ్రుచులు), called "Ugadi Pachhadi" (ఉగాది పచ్చడి) in Telugu and "Bevu-Bella"( ಬೇವು-ಬೆಲ್ಲ ) in Kannada, symbolizes the fact that life is a mixture of different expereinces (sadness, happiness, anger, fear, disgust, surprise) , which should be accepted together and with equanimity.

Ugadi celebrations are marked by literary discussions, poetry recitations and recognition of authors of literary works through awards and cultural programs. Recitals of classical Carnatic music and dance are held in the evenings.

JokEs foR U On the FoOls dAy

Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

.......... Everybody knows the famous under creek/sea tunnel joining England and France. Before it's construction, the tenders were invited from various construction companies by giving newspaper ads throughout the world. Banta Singh came across one such ad and he decided to fill the tender. On the day of opening the tenders everybody was surprised to find Banta Singh's tender at it's very lowest. Other tenders were quoting billions of pounds, Banta Sing had offered to do the job for just 10000 pounds. Now , as per the rule Banta was to get the contract. Before giving works order to Banta Singh, the officer asked BantaSingh as to how he could afford to work at such a low budget. Banta Singh said,"look, back home, there is my brother, Santa Singh.I will call him here. We will take two shovels. I will start diging from English bank and Santa Singh will start digging from French bank. The moment we meet, you get a tunnel." The dumbstruck officer asked with courage," and if you don't meet?" Banta Singh replied," then you will get two tunnels in same cost."

Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger comming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down. Santa told Banta " Yaar just to pass Time Why don't you sing some song" Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs. After singing all the songs he Banta came back to his original position. Santa asked curiosly "Yaar Bantya, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?" Banta told " Yaar First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B"

Santa Singh told his wife that after his death she should marry Banta Singh. "But why should I marry Banta who is your enemy no 1" enquired his wife. Santa quipped, "Oh Darling, this is the only way I can take my revenge from that useless fellow. Ha! Ha! Ha!!

Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Happy Fool's Day

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four